You're ruining my life...

Have the iPhone and Facebook made us the ultimate douche bags?

It's an age old question that dates back to this morning. Being a Sydney-sider I'm exposed to strange and unusual behaviour on a daily basis - it’s called the public train system.

We get the usual crack jobs and addicts for that matter, talking to themselves, eating mice, abusing seats, you know usual crack addict behaviour. You have the old creepy men that blatantly stare down your top and those that introduce themselves to you with an extended hand. It's at this point you praise the dettol gel in your bag, give them a fake name (I always go with Sue so they won't say it's pretty- sorry Sue) and hop off two stops before yours just in case they decide it'd be fun to follow you home.

That I can handle.

But what I can't handle is the craze that took the world by storm almost two years ago to this day. The iPhone. It was the ultimate in mobile entertainment. Let's not kid ourselves here either. We didn't buy it for communication purposes - we bought it to be cool hipsters. Well I did anyway and that's fine. It’s a great tool. The draft for this post? On my iPhone. Location? On a train. So what could I possibly take issue with other than myself? Well it happens to be the dude across from me.

Little school kid here- looks like a douche. Why? (Gosh I’m mean). Well because he is standing across from me playing a game whilst simultaneously socialising with friends via Facebook on his device instead of interacting with real life people. I remember when networking used to occur between two or more people - now we've become a 15 year old boy after he’s discovered net porn. We lock ourselves in our room and scour the internet for hours. We're addicted to the Internet and any technology really that separates us under the guise of connecting us. For instance- I have 221 Facebook friends (super cool). I know each one of them.  I engage with each one of them and I really can pronounce all of their last names. They are my network - people who I find important.  But it appears that I am a rare breed in this social age. One very good friend of mine ‘Shakespeare’ will only be friends with someone on Facebook if they add him. He likes to see that they've invested time in searching for his profile. I like this thinking but I tend to add others as well because there is awkwardness to Facebook that everyone experiences and yet no one speaks of. So we might as well address it now. If I add you does that mean I like you if you're of the opposite se x? Well of course I like you but that isn't the like we speak of. We're asking if I like, like you. Short answer is maybe, maybe not. In most cases it’s skewed to the not. Maybe you're just another name in my ever growing network of people? I collect friends - but only if I can see a return on investment.

Back to the issue here though. Little School kid has just hopped off the train. He's going to be playing his little game all the way to school looking as though he suffers from a birth defect and he’ll be chatting away to his friends via Facebook. But what happens when he gets to school? He now lacks the skills to interact with people on a human level. How does school even work these days? Facebook Classroom? (Original idea – you try and steal that Facebook I’m a have words). The kid thinks he’s the original hipster. He ain't. He's a douche bag.

Peace,

Moi.

Post Script: Sorry for using the D word mum.

Yep, We're all cool.

:|> (created by Shakespeare the house elf)

I have a confession to make. I am irrevocably and unconditionally (switched on purpose so I don't get sued) in love with brooding vampires. If you didn't know this already then you were not paying attention to my cute blog opener and you’re probably living under a rock.

Sadly it appears that I am not alone in this utterly ridiculous love for fanged creatures of the night that suck on your blood and make you swoon (from lack of blood I suspect). I have chosen to write about this because tonight on Channel Go! A digital channel here in Australia, the second season of The Vampire Diaries is airing at 8.30pm EST. And all I have been able to think about today at work other than Junior MasterChef are the brooding Salvatore brothers. What is it about these vampires other than their otherworldly beauty that makes them attractive to us mortal girls who are just conveniently single should the opportunity arise to date these fictitious characters? Well they are ying and yang, a perfect whole, the ideal man/men. Stefan would die to protect you and Damon would die to eat you...in the literal sense – not the sexual sense...though both would be interesting.

Recently we’ve been bombarded with touchy feely redeemed do gooder vampires and I was all for that – Edward was my new love; I had never felt so sure of anything in my life. That is until I met Eric Northman one night and my view of vampires changed. You see the fragile vampire is good. He wants to do right by the world. He won’t drink your blood. He won’t even kiss you for fear of hurting you.

But what if you like it rough?

What if you are of the Eric or Damon philosophy, where vampires are immortal creatures who possess the ability to crush you in one fell swoop? Doesn’t sound as appealing as the Stefan’s and Edward’s of the world but if you’ve ever read the Vampire Diaries or Trueblood series I’m sure you’d see where I’m coming from.

Twilight sees a bite from a vampire bringing death – painful and terrifying and if you survive you’re doomed to live a life without a soul, sounds like epic awesome fun! But in the world of Eric Northman being bitten is equivalent to the most amazing sex of your life. Sounds like a fair trade off if we’re being honest.

The original vamp bad boy however was doomed from the beginning. If he gave into his instincts he would lose his soul. If he were experience pleasure he would lose his soul. I am of course referring to Angel of the Buffy fame.

What I can tell you is this. I am torn between the brothers, each possessing qualities that make for the perfect man. I can tell you one thing more. If I spent less time obsessing over said vampire brothers I may in fact have a real life boyfriend...but I’d spend my days trying to compare him.

To make matters worse I’ve just realised that I was able to rant fairly decently over vampires...I should get back to work.

Peace,

Moi.

Yes Chef!

MasterChef - officially annoying me since 2009. Don’t get me wrong, the premise and execution is something Freemantle Media and Channel Ten should be proud of. It has been the highest rating show in Australia for the past two years and has a loyal following of an average 1.2 million viewers per episode.

So you wouldn’t want to change it right? The old saying ‘why fix what ain’t broke’ comes to mind.

But I reckon Channel Ten were thinking more along the lines of what would happen if you were to expand a property that has blown competition out of the water. Ladies and Gentlemen I present Junior MasterChef which is airing its premiere episode as I write this. And I’m watching it. Call me a hypocrite if you must but the promotion of this new series has me intrigued. When I was 12 I was trying to cook crazy shit that I forced down my parent’s throats. They’d smile and tell me how amazing it was – never mind that at times they’d be up all night in the bathroom. Did I do it on purpose? Maybe, it’s all a little bit of blur.

My biggest concern at the ages of the kids on this show (8-12 year olds) was how to not get picked on at school and passing maths (never happened in case you were wondering). And yet here before me are 50 amazing little individuals who are putting my mashed potato that I just made to shame.

But there is an inherent risk in tampering with successful shows. This was evident when Ten produced Celebrity MasterChef. It did ok but couldn’t hold it’s own against its predecessor. As I watch this however I do not fear what numbers I will see at work tomorrow – I see big numbers and number one positions across key buying demos that media agencies base their strategies on. With sponsors including Sunbeam, Smarties and Kellogg’s – there are also companies out there who believe in the success of JMC.

I can only hope that I don’t grow tired of this show too soon. Because if a 12 year old can do it, then I’m about to have no excuse.

Peace,

Moi

Do you have The X Factor?

In short, yes I do. But this isn't about my resounding amazingness or a kick arse Lauryn Hill song. No, this is about yet another reality TV show to hit Australian screens that promises the world to its contestants. New to Channel Seven, The X Factor seeks out talented (and in most cases, not so talented) individuals and groups who possess the ability to hold a note and carry a tune. That was somewhat cruel of me; some of the contestants are actually extremely talented but my issue lies in the lack of success post production. I am of course referring to the infamous ‘Australian Idol Curse’ which I have just come up with. This curse sees Australian audiences fall in love with the young girl from an outback community who lost her kitten to dingoes. We fall in love with her story, her personality, even her looks and of course her voice. She is the only thing on our minds and we get excited about buying her CD if she wins. That is until the final curtain falls and the networks promos aren’t pushing her image down our throats anymore.

Unlike Australian Idol however, The X Factor judges are guaranteeing success, yes because they aren’t washed up at all. We have Guy Sebastian whose success is as fleeting as his music (though he is a cool kid at times). We have Kyle Sandilands who is Idol alum. Natalie Imbruglia who hasn’t had a successful career in years and doesn’t even reside in Australia anymore and Ronan Keating, the only one I’m truly fond of and that is because he is aging ridiculously well and is Irish.

So that was my opinion of this show. That is until I happened to catch the tail end of an encore episode this morning and you’ll never guess, unless you yourself have seen it also who is going to be mentoring the contestants. We have Richard Branson, Boy Zone, Usher, Kelly Rowland and the one and only SNOOP D-O-G-G! I have never looked so forward to watching bad television if only to hear the Big Boss speak.

I think we need to ponder how much Channel Seven and Freemantle Media are paying him to be apart of the show...and how we can get in on that action.

Peace,

Moi

Hey Jude.

So let me spell it out for you. J-U-D-E L-A-W.

Usually I would be able to leave it at that and most of you would nod your heads in agreement. Despite the receding hairline and penis indiscretions when it comes to members of the opposite sex, he is undeniably a god like creature with an on screen presence that is wondrous and highly likeable. Sadly he hasn’t really been in much of late. That is until a dear friend of mine that I shall refer to as ‘Man Handler’ posted a link upon my FB wall. A link that would forever change how I viewed men fragrances.

You see I’m what you’d call an ad kid. That is until I stumbled into a little known and yet highly lucrative industry that we in the business call Media. Yep, catchy and totally intriguing title. So what does that mean? It means that I’m a crazy, magical hybrid of the ad kid and the media kid. I can’t think of an awesome name just yet but when I do you’ll be the first to know. Anyway back on point. So being an adesque kid means that I’m naturally drawn to the things in life that you tend to mute, literally mute out. I am of course referring to advertising. As part of the new Dior Homme range, Dior and the ever great, ever fantastic Guy Ritchie of the Sherlock Holmes and Rock n Rolla fame, teamed up to produce an enthralling 5 minute video Un Rendez Vous. The premise of the story? A simple phone conversation that leads to a suggestive climax, brilliantly shot in a manner befitting of Ritchie.

I implore you to watch the link I have provided because this is a classic example of unique advertising at its best. Not in idea, but in execution. (I'll embed it as soon as I can).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZd9mKJcOR0&feature=player_embedded

 

Peace,

Moi.

Mmmmm...Tasty.

Hendrix in Wonderland

I would like to draw your attention to the above image.

I have decided that it is high time someone (i.e. me) post amazing and magical images, music, videos, and other wordly ideas that will freak your freak and speak to your inner geek in epic and gnarly ways. 

The artist captured the essence of Jimi Hendrix - Fucked to the point of no doubt being an Alice in Wonderland character in his own mind but having a rockin' time doing it. A lot of people saw Hendrix as a drug user and great musician - he was both, so they were astute observations on behalf of the twat brigade. But he was also more, I might even go as far as to say that the man was a brave son of a bitch who experimented to the point of addling his brain to experience things that others had only dreamt about. His music and ideas transcend era, age, race, sex and religion and join us in such a way that we're all just spawn of good music.

If I were wearing a top hat right now, I'd tip it for him.

Peace,

Moi.

By way of an introduction...

Hi.

So let's get this straight. Blogs - not my thing. But according to some slightly deranged people around my office, I have a knack for writing in a witty and humorous fashion. I tend to refer to this as my well mastered sarcasm but they tend to disagree.

So here we are.

What are you aiming to do? You ask dramatically as you shake your computer screen in frustration. Let us consider this a blog for all things Media (slash) Advertising (slash) Creative ideas. I've recently had friends complain that I molest my Facebook page with way too much cool shit, so let's bring this mother to the blogging world.

Welcome to the curiouser and curiouser mind of moi.